3 Years, 5 Months, and 2 Days in the Life of...

First off, I want to give a shout out to Ryan, who dutifully reads this blog and comments on it. A salute of the crutches to you from the World Tour.

Well, for those who have not yet had the pleasure, I want to assure you that Guitar Hero III is indeed just as awesome as you think it could be. But let us recap in chronological order, lest dear reader become perplexed and think he or she wound up in last season's finale of Lost.

So when we last left off, I was waiting for el Older Gordo to arrive, which he did in due course. To show him a Boulder good time, we headed off to the Boulder Beer Company (maker of such brews as Hazed & Infused), where the beer is tasty and the food is not quite as tasty. Cool building, though.

The next day, after EOG got energy from having gone to bet at 8:30pm the previous night, it was off to the mountains. Where? Why? Oh, we shall not worry our small minds with such questions when the universe has grander designs on us.

I have no idea what that means. More importantly, we took the GordoMobile and headed off into the mountains. After a short trip down I-70 where we saw the aftermath of a terrible rollover accident, we headed north on US-40 in the direction of Winter Park. As we climbed the windy road, things got more and more covered in snow...well, it had snowed the previous day. But the plows had been out and the GordoMobile was up to the task.

It was brilliantly sunny but colder than Hillary during the Lewinsky trial (oh no!) The car's thermometer hit 2 degrees at one point. No matter, we had places to drive aimlessly around and deep discussions about the future of Yucca Mountain to have. We made our way up to Granby, whereupon we struck a more northerly course on Route 125. It was at this point that the road got snowier and emptier, while the scenery got more suh-weet. "If we break down out here, we're kind of screwed," EOG noted.

No breakdowns for the GordoMobile. We pulled into Walden (population: not so much), where they have an affinity for moose. Funny story, those moose. Glenn the Power (Forest) Ranger informed me while helping my injured ass off the mountain all those weeks ago that moose were reintroduced into Colorado some years ago, but there is still some debate as to whether those swampgrass munchers were ever native.

Our bellies full but senses of adventure unsatiated, we piled back into the car and headed east. The next 100 miles or so wound through canyon country that would have made more sense in Arizona, but there it was, red rocks and such. And much less snow, which made EOG eager to return to his usual crazy style of driving.

The adventure culminated with a drive past Fort Collins, then it was back down the highway to Boulder. One long trip to REI, one dinner with two Icelanders (they tell me their people are rude), one night in a hotel, and one plane flight the next morning later, and I was in Los Angeles.

Standing at the curb of LAX on my crutches, it was easy for Michelle "Stone Cold" Alig, a college friend, to pick me up in her trusty Saturn. Then it was on to Hermosa Beach to hang with Nicole and her husband Hans, who despite repeated visits still has no earthly idea what my name is. It's okay, though, he came from a foreign country.

We played a lot of Wii that day. Quite a lot. So much that I in fact did develop a bit of a case of Wii tennis elbow. But it's okay -- at least I got something resembling exercise. As I found out, you can play all Wii sports from a sitting position. In the great Wii championship, we came to a tie -- Michelle won bowling and boxing, I won tennis and baseball, and we tied in golf. Next year -- grudge match.

The next day we ate lots of pancakes (What do I have to do to get pancakes around here??? Yo quiero pancakes! Click, click, pancakes!) and played Trivial Pursuit (I rule) before heading to the Alig family household for Christmas Eve dinner with more Jews than Christians. ("If there is a manger here, I am just going to schvitz!") 'Twas excellent, with culinary delights prepared by Mommy Carol Alig and the tall, taciturn, and now engaged Brother Dan Alig.

Having gotten my fair share of that old time religion, it was off to bed and the airport the next day. I was headed to Phoenix, Arizona, the Valley of the Sun. A place where even the rocks try to find shade during the day. But it wasn't all that warm...well, at 55 degrees, this is something resembling winter in the Southwest.

So here I was with el Parentalos, and it was time for another Christmas Dinner. This one was courtesy of Zinc Bistro, a.k.a., the only joint open. We dined with our neighbors the Johnsons, whose family includes two young tykes, Seth and Cole. Mom brought games for them to play, and we quickly discovered that tic-tac-toe is a terrible game. Seriously, no one ever wins. Who invented this idiocy??? ANSWER ME!!!

Okay, I'm calm. Anywho, after dinner the Johnsons invited us over for pie (er, how about a cookie for the freak with a broken leg and nut allergies?) Luckily for Yours Truly, Seth and Cole had Guitar Hero III. A precious item, indeed. And I rocked. It's not an easy game, folks. Bon Scott was right...it IS a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.

Secret weapon, though. I knew a lot of the songs and could pretend to have rhythm. Hooray for growing up in the 90s!

Elsewise, I have been tooling around the greater Scottsdale-Phoenix area and trying to keep el Lego elevated so as to try to speed the healing.

Oh, and I have to exercise it. Remember that? Good fun. Now, adding color, leg lifts, hip rotations, and other things to keep me occupied. Paaaarrrrrty...