Tomorrow Never Dies

Okay, fans, tomorrow is the day for the cutting and the drilling and the screwing. I get to the surgery center around 9am and wait while they do weird things to me, including taking my blood pressure, making me repeat my medical history, and possibly taking my pants.

Luckily for that last circumstance, I am wearing basketball warm-up pants. Yep, the kind that you can rip off directly because they button down the side. So I expect to be de-pantsed with a flourish.

You may also be interested to know that, according to El Surgeon, I have the same injury that Terrell Owens did. El Surgeon has thus assured me that after my surgery, I will be an all-pro wide receiver with an attitude problem. I'll probably carry a Sharpie around in my sock so I can turn in papers and sign them in a fit of overweening arrogance.

Well, I will update you all (er, really Ryan, my most faithful reader) after I become coherent again (or possibly before, which would be way funnier.) I'm still a bit skeptical about this whole "anesthesia" thing, I feel like I might end up puking or hallucinating or something. But we'll see.

Adios,
Gordo