99 Problems But a...

Hobbling around on crutches makes life inconvenient. But when, on the weekend before a final and two projects are due my computer stops working, I think, this must be funny. For some reason I have been dealt these cards, and it can be no less than some artful Andy Kaufman-esque humor.

So I will take it that way and wait until Monday, when the repair person will hopefully show up and replace the fan. Then I will rejoice in my ability to returning to that most important of tasks, playing Scrabulous on Facebook. (Please challenge me to a game, I could use the entertainment.)

Luckily, my roommate, who is reading incomprehensible notes about microeconomics, has been kind enough to let me use his computer tonight. Tomorrow I shall get deposited at the fancy new LEED-Gold home of the Business School, where I aim to use a computer lab until my group meeting in the afternoon. (We've already come up with a clever name, MAK'ED Energy Solutions, a play on our initials and a subtle use of sexual suggestion...rhymes with "naked.")

But enough about my trials and tribulations, they are trivial, if I may use another trite word. On to more important things.

As you may know, one of the brilliant innovations of Amazon.com is the idea of letting consumers rate products so others may know whether that really is a good food processor or it fell to pieces within a week.

Amazon, of course, has developed a wide-ranging product catalog, but you can still rate any item. So it is that people have had a field day rating things that probably don't need much commentary...like the Bic pen. The comments range from the ostensibly serious...

"The cap clips into your inside pocket well, but only if you're wearing very thing material." -- M. Greener

...to the poetic...

"I knew a young fellow named Rick
Who was constantly losing his Bic
So he's ordered a box
And secured it with locks
That seems to have done the trick." -- The Glue Man

...to the only-from-the-mind-of-a-Stoner...

"I've noticed that what this pen writes in my diary are the exact same thoughts in my mind. Can the pen be reading my thoughts, I mean, is that possible?" -- O B Vious

...to the remarkably elitist put-down:

"Personally, I can't believe someone would be caught dead with one of these pieces of proletarian rubbish." -- H. Maxwell Harbinger IV

Amuse yourself like I did.